One way you can always spot a formerly-much-heavier person is by how much they obsess over their weight. That’s not to say that all obsessives-about-weight were once heavier, of course. But I’ve noticed that it’s a certain trait that is hard to ignore. Myself, included.

In the past six months or so I have very quietly put on a small amount of weight. Depending on the day, just 5-to-7 pounds. That’s really not that much, of course. But in my mind, it’s a huge flashing red light with claxons. Having twice had to take several weeks off of running and cardio in general certainly accounts for some of it. But not enough. Meanwhile, to confuse the issue, starting in January I’ve been actually using the weights at my gym for the first time in, well, ages. (I think one would have to go back to when I first joined a gym in 1997, in fact.) And as we all know, muscle does weigh more than fat. And I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but there has definitely been a change. I mean, I have bicep muscles now. I’ve never had bicep muscles that would show up if I flexed. It’s a noticeable difference, if admittedly just baby-steps.


At the same time, though, I do know that I have been eating… perhaps not badly, per se, but not as well as I could have in 2007. (January was a rough month and I never really got back on track.) Temptations that might’ve been avoided in the past are now, well, not so much. For lunch today I had a very sensible meal, and then promptly followed it up several hours later with a piece of chocolate and two cookies that were left over from a meeting in the office. Smooth, huh?

So where does that put me?

In an effort to figure out exactly where I am, I did break down and get (after extensive research) one of those devices that uses an electrical pulse to help determine what your body fat percentage is. I used it this afternoon, and starting tomorrow morning I will use it on a regular basis (complete with recording the results) so I can get a better idea of what’s happening.

To be fair, my pants still fit and that is more than anything else my big method of figuring out where I am. So I should be in good shape, no pun intended. (I only shifted from 31″ to 30″ with about 10 pounds left to lose, if I remember correctly.) But I do worry. After all, when I lost all the weight a couple of years ago, I was in a relationship at the time and I remember what started out as encouraging comments suddenly becoming less so. (And towards the end, a little negative. Never mind that when I hit my goal weight I was literally about 2 pounds from the official upper end of the weight range considered “healthy” for myself.) It all came flooding back to me today, what with being in a relationship now and suddenly having a weight fluctuation.

Now if I could just find my willpower, I can’t help but think that it would put everything in its place. And I have vowed to stop buying two pounds of prosciutto when I go to CostCo from now on. (It’s so good. I can’t stop eating it.) We shall see, right? In the meanwhile, I’ve been told that we’re going out for dinner tonight. And more importantly, everyone at work so far is having fun with the body fat scanner. It’s a game everyone can play! Just remember to look up what the “healthy” percentages for your gender and age are first, though. It can be a little distressing otherwise. (My super-skinny co-worker Laura just about had a heart-attack when she saw her percentage. Then she did some research and felt much, much better.)

One thought on “Fat

  1. Susan says:

    how i empathize, my friend. i am proud that i am in better health, and ALSO in better mind these days than my closet eating (my favorite was frosting…a whole can at one time), starv-a-thons and excessive workouts followed with binging. Ah.

    You will be healthy. you have a healthy mind, heart and spirit, not only body.

    This was a nice find for me, too:

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