This is, for the record, a real conversation I had earlier tonight.
Charlie: Ooh, that’s a great name, we could name a child that.
Greg: No, we already have a name picked out for our mythical child, remember. Huggybear Batman.
Charlie: But that’s for a boy. What if we have a girl?
Greg: Huggybear Batman.
Greg: Ok, Huggybear Batwoman.
Charlie: What about Huggybear Batgirl?
Greg: Well, Batwoman is a lesbian.
Charlie: Hmmm. Interesting. But we don’t want to pigeonhole our child. Let nature take its course.
Greg: True. Although Batgirl got shot by the Joker and put in a wheelchair for life.
Charlie: Well then, it’s paying tribute to Batgirl’s strength.
Greg: Good point. Huggybear Batgirl it is.
Charlie: Wait, what was the last name we decided on?
Charlie: Huggybear Breadtangle.
Greg: No no, you have to always say the first and middle names together, like my friend Sarah Grace. Huggybear is just “eh.” Huggybear Batman is awesome and rolls off the tongue.
Charlie: Then maybe we should make the last name Batman? Huggybear Breadtangle Batman?
Greg: Um, only freaks change their last name to Batman.
(And then Charlie started laughing so hard that we had to stop the conversation so he wouldn’t rupture something.)
I am also fairly certain that, should we ever get a child, social services would take it away within a week once the neighbors found out.